signed up for the CHOC Walk today. You should, too.
CONGRATS! You made the Runners Up category!
Congrats Team Impala! But watch out, next year Team Vampirates has got this!
My god did they deserve that win.
I was so upset when they were announced and I went on Tumblr to look at their submissions.
Wow… Every bit of anger and jealousy went away and instead I’m left inspired for next year. Good job, you guys. You did an amazing job and deserve every bit of fun you’re going to have!
I got to meet Matthew Thomas and Misha Collins today. Because of the rush, I didn’t get a chance to get a picture with Matthew, or talk to him really, but I sent him a message on Facebook telling him how I felt about the book so hopefully he’s the one who runs that page and it didn’t go to a fan who’s like “Who the fuck is this chick?”
Here’s the thing- Fearing my photos would turn out blurry, I used BurstMode to get the pics taken, which takes like 100 photos in 5 seconds, and as I was looking at the pictures, I saw that when Misha let my leg go, he was smiling, but I wouldn’t look at him and then, picture by picture, his smile kinda went away. Whether I came off that way or not, I felt like I was extremely rude and I wish I could tell him I’m sorry for basically getting a picture with him and pulling a “Bye, Thanks” and leaving without even looking at him. I have dealt with social anxiety for years. There are certain situations where I’m completely fine and can carry on a conversation with anyone (as proven by the wonderful ladies we met today. I was able to talk and talk and talk to them without a problem) but when it comes to people I’ve admired for a long time, I shut down, and that’s what happened today and I feel awful. Particularly when I see this-
He kept his hand on my shoulder and was being super sweet and then he just looks like “Oh, okay” and I didn’t mean to do that so I feel like shit now. Misha, you are amazing for introducing us to such a great piece of work, you are amazing for coming to the signing, you are amazing for spending your time to stay and take pictures with fans, even though the event wasn’t for you, and you are amazing for agreeing to hold my leg even though it was kind of a lame request. You are also amazing for signing my friend’s TSA DVD, even though the staff said you weren’t allowed to. So thank you for all of that and even though I may not have seemed appreciative at the time, you really did make so many people so extremely happy today. You and Matthew were a great duo to watch and the Q&A you guys put on was extremely entertaining.
Now that I’ve tried to work through my guilt, I want to say thank you to Matthew Thomas for that book, because as depressing as it was, it really touched me. I know people read that and think it’s being said just because Misha brought it to our attention and it’s what I’m supposed to say, but as the daughter of two alcoholic drug addicts, there were parts of the characters that stuck with me and reminded me of myself, whether I wanted them to or not. There’s things people don’t talk about when they go through shit and those things were talked about in the book, and they were talked about in a very captivating way. I didn’t think I would cry reading it, but I got to a certain point and the tears came. I had to stop and collect myself before I could finish the book, and that, to me, is a sign of a truly well written piece of art.
Matthew had well thought out answers to all of the questions and it was a real pleasure seeing him today. As I said, I was distracted by a B&N employee while he was signing my book and by the time I turned back to him, he was done, so I felt rude then as well, as I was rushed off so more people could get their books signed. I hope he reads my message (if he actually gets it) and understands how much his story touched me.
Other than my feeling like an asshole, today was amazing in part because of those two amazing, generous, and kind men, and in part because of the new friends I made in line. They were ridiculously kind, welcoming, talkative, funny, and comforting and we’ve all added each other and are making plans to hang out again after the hours we spent together, simply talking and connecting. I wish them and their teams luck with GISHWHES, because from the stories they told, they’ve done a lot to earn spots as winners. Thank you to everyone for today, even if I seemed like a rude asshole, I promise I appreciated everything you did for everyone.